It’s pretty hot today isn’t it, says NCIAC

Yeah, it kind of is.

Media release

It is pretty hot today, according to the National Centre for Inference Assumption and Conjecture (NCIAC).

Temperatures rose to over 40 degrees Celsius during the day, and in the evening it was still quite hot, despite the sun having long since left the sky.

NCIAC Chief Weatherologist Hal Ibutz said that it was so hot today the metal bars of his bicycle were sagging by the time he got to work.

“It’s so hot today, I broke into a sweat on the way to the mailbox in the morning,” he said.

“It’s so hot, I went to boil the kettle for tea, but the water from the cold water tap was hotter.

“It’s so hot, my breakfast egg had already fried itself in the air before it hit the pan.

“I have a mug at work which has one of those colour reveal-y things where the picture changes as you put hot liquid in it and the screen of the Game Boy looks like it’s turning on. I went to pick it up from my desk and the Game Boy screen already had Mario and Peach on it, it was so hot.”

NCIAC Investment Expert Chadwick Radwick agreed that it is pretty hot today.

“I had to wear a hat today, even though I knew it would slightly mess up my hair, it was so hot,” he said.

“One of my colleagues accidentally spilt a glass of water on me in the office kitchen this morning, but before she’d had a chance to apologise, it was dry, it was so hot.

“I made myself a coffee this morning with my amazing three-thousand-dollar espresso coffee machine, complete with frothed milk and a dash of sugar. I decided it might be worth adding a splash of caramel syrup, but by the time I got back from the cupboard to add the syrup, my coffee had evaporated, leaving a small pile of powdered coffee in my cup.

“Luckily, I am used to consuming dry instant coffee when I’m particularly desperate for some caffeine, so I had some delicious flat white sherbet to enjoy on the bus to work.”

Temperatures continue to be high as the air conditioning system in the NCIAC office is currently undergoing maintenance.

Chief Weatherologist Hal Ibutz is available for comment about how hot it is today.

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