Have you tried serving yoghurt with a heaped teaspoon of gratitude?

Media release

Scientific studies undertaken by NCIAC, which are totally real and not made up, have determined that including 1,000 International Units (IU) of Kindness in an average adult’s diet can lead to better health outcomes and a longer life.

Kindness (often shortened to Knd) can be found naturally, and comes in many forms.

Knd can be found in the flowers of the Gratitude plant, in crystalline form by reducing liquid Forgiveness, and “deep within your own heart.”

Supplements can also be taken in the form of Ego-Calciferol (Knd3) tablets, which are made from Active Listening Extract.

NCIAC Very Nice Person Gerald Houghnice said the research has taken years to complete, but it was worth the hard work.

“Hopefully our research will help people understand the dietary importance of Kindness. A lack of Kindness in the diet has been shown to result in grumpiness, spite, misunderstanding and other medical conditions,” said Mr Houghnice.

“Alongside the dietary benefits, Kindness can improve the taste of a meal, and can help the body to better process other important vitamins and minerals in the meal.

“There are a lot of recipes out there for including Kindness in your meal plans. You can sprinkle a little bit of Understanding on your eggplant parmigiana for example.

“I have found a lot of success in stirring a few teaspoons of Compliments into my coffee every morning. I find it makes the coffee taste sweeter!”

The National Centre for Inference Assumption and Conjecture is dedicated to exploring the importance of Kindness in an adult diet, and intends to release fact-sheets with hints and tips for a Kindness-enriched diet.